Do not Despise the Season of Preparation

A few months back I bought this little black Jetta. The previous owners are family friends of ours and the car had been taken good care of. Everything about getting that car was a miracle, even how I got the funds. I truly believed that God had prepared this little car just for me.

And then things started breaking. It was just small things at first, a light, the heater knob, the door lock. But then it was big things, like overheating and leaking oil. I feel like my mechanic is on speed dial these days, and even though he has wonderful prices, my bank account continues to diminish.

I hit the breaking point two weeks ago when I was on my way to school. I had just put some more oil in my car and after just ten short miles, the oil had completely drained, leaving my dipstick bone dry. You don't have to know much about cars to know that I had BIG problems. I called my professor and explained to him in a voice cracking with emotion that I wasn't going to be in class, and then I just sat on the side of the road and cried while I waited for the tow truck. I had been praying over that little car so much and I couldn't understand why this was happening. It may not sound like a big deal to some people, but it's just me and my mom at home and car stuff can get pretty overwhelming pretty fast. But as I was sitting there, crying and asking God why this was all happening, He gently reminded me of the season, two seasons actually. The first was that it was Channukah. That whole holiday ironically revolves around the miracle of the oil, and did I ever need an oil miracle of my own. Channukah is also about God's faithfulness and provision in seemingly impossible circumstances - again very relevant to my current side of the road situation. But the other season that Abba pointed out to me was the broader season He has me in during these years back in America. I learned so much during my wonderful time overseas, but He brought me back to learn some things that only home could teach me. I know so assuredly that my time here is a season of preparation - emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually - so that when I go back overseas, I will be more fully equipped. At that moment, crying alone in my car, I realized that this was an opportunity. I could become more frustrated, and cry more tears, and become more overwhelmed with my circumstances, or I could trust, pray, and rest in the fact that the God of the universe is crazy about me and is going to watch over me. I had to choose not to despise the season of preparation with its strategic challenges, but rather to embrace them as they force me into the arms of my Savior.

I believe that Jesus did in fact tell me to buy that car, but now I also see that He is going to use every challenge to increase my trust in Him.

What season does He have you in?

Son of Hamas

Can you imagine being 17 years old and going to prison where you are ruthlessly tortured? Or what if there was a high possibility everyday that you would be murdered? Can you imagine your father being a terrorist?! That is the life of Mosab Hassan Yousef, the son of one of the seven founding members of the Hamas terrorist organization. Born in 1978, Mosab, the oldest of nine children, grew up in the West Bank. Surrounded with terrorism since his childhood, Mosab went to prison for attempted violence against Israel, but later ended up working for Israel as an undercover spy! On top of it all, Mosab has now become a follower of the teachings of Jesus. His is an amazing story of betrayal, political intrigue, and redemption. Having personally spent time in Israel and the West Bank, I have tasted their conflict and admire this man for his bravery and sense of justice. He has chosen to document his story in this book, “Son of Hamas,” which was published this year, in order to share with the world the truth about Hamas, Islam, and what he believes is the only answer for peace in the Middle East. I read this book in a couple days and it has given me a new sense of justice and understanding of the Middle East conflict. It is an amazing story of what is possible when we love our enemies. I highly recommend it!

sonofhamas.com

A Letter to Christian Radio

Dear Christian Radio,

Overall, I appreciate you. We have a fairly good relationship. Yes, I used to mock you in my teenage years, when all I could do was criticize the music you play with it's weak writing and repetitive choruses; and although I still generally hold those opinions, I've calmed down a bit and give you a listen. I enjoy the worship songs and am grateful for how they focus my heart on Christ while driving my car. I've had some of the sweetest worship experiences with the Lord listening to the music you play, that is until the song ends. At this point, the DJ feels the need to engage in some "clever banter" before playing the next song. That is really where my grievance begins. I'm saddened to hear DJs complain about traffic and ooze over Hollywood gossip. I hear these things and double check the station. Nope, there's no mistake - it's still Christian radio. Last time I checked, we served a God who came and died for us, allowing us to speak boldly to this world about grace, life, love, and justice. Wouldn't it be amazing if when I flipped on the Christian radio I heard the DJs sharing stories of miracles rather than discussing their favorite Taco Bell combo (true story)? What benefit is there in complaining about heavy traffic when we could be encouraging one another to rise above our circumstances with the attitude of Christ Jesus? Why do we feel the need to relish in Hollywood gossip, when the works of God are unquestionably more exciting, wondrous, and awe-inspiring? Just a thought.

Sincerely,

Chelsea

Date Night

I have a confession to make: my quiet times having been lacking lately. It's like the cardinal sin of Christianity isn't it? I've been trying to tell myself that I tend judge myself too harshly and that quality is often more important than quantity, but in the end I'm just not satisfied with things in their current state. School is overwhelming at times, and with the addition of friends, family, work, and church, I haven't been able to keep up the lengthly times of study and set apartness that I've been accustom to with my King.

I realized this morning that I needed a complete overhaul. I needed to fall in love with Jesus again. Now, of course I never really fell out of love with Him in the apostate sense, but I had ceased to cultivate that love relationship with Him that catches my breath and inspires my tears in the most gentle and wonderful way. I needed to refocus, so I opened up to the gospel of Luke. There's a great debate about having favorite books of the Bible and I can't say that I've chosen just one, but the gospels hold a special place in my heart. When I read them, I fall in love with Jesus all over again. I love going over the accounts of the miracles and the love that defined Him. I love how the words transcend from the page to my soul as I realize that love still defines this living God that my heart belongs to. I feel like a proud lover, saying, "Yes! This is the One that my soul loves! Isn't He amazing?!" I can't help but be romanced by the man of Christ Jesus when I truly meditate on who He is.

So, in an effort to cultivate my love relationship with this Divine Prince, I am instituting Date Night into my week. In addition to my daily quiet times, I will set aside an extended time each week to get away with my Jesus. Maybe it will be with a chai latte and my Bible in a coffee shop, maybe it will be a prayer walk through the park, or communion in the Rocky Mountains aspen trees of gold. All I know is that I need to fight for intimacy - it's life. So once a week I will leave my house and surroundings with the chores and homework that distract me, and enter into this divinely romantic world with my King - like a step through the wardrobe.

Does your relationship with God need a date night?

She Did What She Could

I heard a speaker recently who taught from Mark 14, where a woman that we assume to be Mary of Bethany anoints Jesus with nard from an alabaster box. I'd read the story hundreds of times and heard dozens of speakers point to different aspects of the layered text. But this time, I heard something new. It's the sentence that Jesus speaks at the beginning of verse eight. She did what she could. In those five short words, there is a storehouse of freedom and grace. Sometimes I get so caught up in the things that I want to do but can't, that I don't do the small things that I can. I may not be able to stop human trafficking today, but am I praying about it today? I can't fix all my friend's problems, but am I sending emails and making phone calls just to let them know that I'm here to listen. I may not convince all my fellow classmates that Jesus is the Son of God, but am I treating them like Jesus would, even down to my smile? Am I doing what I can? Because in reality, all Jesus is asking is for us to rely on His strength and do what we can. Sometimes we can do a lot - more than we think we can - and sometimes we can do a little. I'm choosing to stop getting so bogged down in what I'd like to do but can't, and start doing what I can.

I recently watched the movie Bella for the first time. I loved it. Not only is it super cleans and moral, but the cinematography is absolutely beautiful. It's the story of someone who did what they could. Check it out.

In House Revival

According to our calendars, this week was supposed to be the busiest of the year for us. Several teachers and guests were scheduled to join us for the week, all of whom were unable to come due to the volcanic ash hovering over Europe - the leftovers from last week's eruption in Iceland. As we began receiving emails, one by one, that flights had been cancelled and plans changed, our expectation grew for what the Lord had in store. And then the question was posed, Why not an in house revival? Over the course of this amazing week, we have seen that when our lives are open and available for a move of God, He is faithful to come and meet with us. Many students were touched with the joy of the Holy Spirit, the love of God and tears of intercession during the six to seven hour "morning worship times." There was also a wave of repentance that came when the revelation of God's love motivated us to more purely care for one another with an uncommon love. Lunch breaks and time tables became unimportant, because we were in the presence of God. Community member, Jeff Collins, stepped in as the teacher for this week, but often acted more as the facilitator of what God wanted to do, clearing a way for the Holy Spirit to freely come. When Jeff did speak, his topics included: the leading of the Holy Spirit, how we need to develop a sensitivity to His presence and that fear of grieving the Holy Spirit should far outweigh any fear of man. As the world around us fell into the chaos of the volcano's aftermath, we, a small community of burning ones in the mountains of Cyprus chose a different response. The outcome of that choice was an outbreak of Heaven in our midst. May we never be the same.

Here is one student's testimony from this week:

I had so much expectation for this week because our teachers weren't able to come. We all wanted to encounter God and have a deep move of the Holy Spirit. The Lord spoke to me and came with such a tangible reality in my body and heart, pouring out His joy. I am full of His joy! Even when we're praying for someone else, I grab the blessing for myself as well, not choosing to be a spectator. This week, a door opened in me for intercession for others, because it's also a blessing for me. One day I was laying on the floor and said "Lord, I can't make it happen." and He said, "No you can't. Why don't you just give everything to me and let me lead?" This school is not about a season for me - it's about a lifestyle. Just to know that I am His and He is mine.

Suicide to Salvation

Last weekend one of our first year students received news that her Grandmother was terminally ill in the hospital and wanted to die. In Belgium (where the student and her family live) euthanasia is legal and practiced. We immediately began to pray as a community for her family and unbelieving grandmother. One of the saddest things was that when asked if she wanted to talk to a pastor before making the decision to end her life, the grandmother replied "I have no sin." Our hearts broke for this woman and the way she had been deceived. We began to declare LIFE over her and ask God to come and change her heart. Over the course of the week we waited for reports from Belgium on the grandmother's status. The student's parents are believers and spent every moment they could with the grandmother, sharing the gospel with her. Then, late Thursday night, we got the news: the grandmother had a revelation of her sin and had accepted Jesus! There is no way I can express the jubilation in our community as we heard those words. Not only is God working in her spirit, but her whole body used to be in pain and now there are only two places that hurt! We are believing for a full healing in the natural and that she would declare God's goodness to the rest of the unbelieving family! Amazing - from suicide to salvation in one week. God is so good. This is just one more example of how what the Lord is doing in the lives of the students here at the school is making a difference in their families and home nations as well. We are also very aware that Belgium is one of the nations the school is going to on outreach this year and that this is only a firstfruits of the life that Yeshua is going to bring! Come Lord!

Streams Girl

I have absolutely loved working on the Streams in the Desert events this year. Not only has it been stimulating for the side of me that loves to plan and organize things, but it has deepened my heart for this island as well. It is my third year living here and praying for Cyprus. I see that God has a divine purpose for this place and these people, but connecting on a deeper level hasn't always come easily for me. I've pressed through in intercession because I know that it's true, not so much because I feel it all in my heart. But at the last Streams event, God did something in me for Cyprus that I've never felt before. I know that I will carry this nation with me in intercession for the rest of my life. I consider it one of my biggest privileges to get to know the believers here. Because my job is very hands on emailing people the answers their inquiries and making announcements at our worship gatherings, I've begun to build relationships with these people, putting names and stories with the faces. And they've gotten to know me as well. Many will come up to me at an event and ask, "Are you the Chelsea from the emails?" Or if they see me somewhere else, they'll say "Oh, you're the Streams girl!" I love that. I love getting to know these precious people. I see what an honor it is and am so grateful for this opportunity.

Love that Tickles

Last Saturday night worship, God came and heaven kissed us. Our worship time that closes out our shabbat are scheduled to last from 6 - 9pm, but often run into the wee hours of morning. Last night was one of these nights. After worship, some began to share testimonies of what the Lord did on a recent outreach into the Cypriot city of Paphos. Before we knew it, the Holy Spirit took control and a string of prophetic words were released for different members of the community. Some wept in the revelation of God's love, some groaned prostrate on the ground in intercession, and some were doubled over laughing in the joy of the Lord. As the hours went on and God continued to come and touch us, some of the kids began to drift off to sleep. Myrrh (the 5 year old daughter of our leaders) was laying in my lap fighting the sleep that was inevitable when she heard a new wave of laughter from the Lord break out. She suddenly sat up and asked "Why are they laughing?" I tried to explain to her that God was just showing them how much He loves them when she asked "Is God's love tickling them?" I smiled at the thought of it - the reality of heaven coming and tickling our hearts. Abba, I love your joy, come and tickle us with Your love!

Heidel Kiddos

Every Thursday from 10 - 2 I have the privilege of baby-sitting these German darlings. Yahron, Aviel and Rebekah Joy are the blonde beauties of the Gateways Community and watching them is one of my favorite responsibilities. Also, due to the fact that they are more bilingual now than I could dream of being, they're helping me work on my German:)

One of their favorite activities is going on long walks along the winding streets of their mountain village, Trimiklini. This last week we came across the treasure of a line of caterpillars. It's so fun walking with the kids and rediscovering the small treasures in the world around us.

The kids also loved taking pictures with the self timer:)

Oh Cyprus, Stand with the Righteous!

This past Saturday we had the opportunity to celebrate Jesus at the second Streams in the Desert event of the year, hosted at New Life International Church in the capitol city of Nicosia. An exciting part of this gathering was the afternoon seminars offered before the corporate worship in the evening. Our desire is to serve the people of God in any way that we can and have had requests on these topics. We do not assume to know everything or have all the answers but we do have a sincere desire to bless the body here on the island. Because this was the first time for these seminars, we had great expectations for what the Lord wanted to do during this time of equipping the saints and connecting to His heart in worship. We were not disappointed! The two seminars that took place simultaneously were powerfully anointed. Matthew shared with worship leaders and worship teams about how they can step into a new dimension of prophetic worship, while Pastor Norm shared on the glory of the Bridal intercessor in the place of intimate encounter with the Lord. Both seminars closed with ministry time and powerful prayers of impartation. There was so much immediate fruit from this time including a release of prophetic songs in the Greek language. We are so encouraged and believe that this is just the beginning of what the Lord wants to do in Cyprus!

The power and beauty of the afternoon carried right into the evening worship time when the Lord released His spirit on the people in the song and the dance. As we danced together, bringing an offering to the Lord, He led us into a time of intercession for the island where we cried out “Oh Cyprus, stand with the righteous!“ After worshiping through song and dance, we continued worshiping through exhortation from the Word. Matthew shared a burning message about God’s heart for this island that challenged us to throw off complacency and believe for what looks impossible to man. It is time to take a passionate stand for the Lord’s purposes and to align ourselves with them, no matter the cost. Many came forward at the end of the evening to receive prayer and prophetic ministry from the Lord.

Over the course of the day a prophetic word came forth about a stronghold over Cyprus being broken. We are believing and standing on this word, also knowing that something was also broken in our hearts for this island that we will carry with us for the rest of our lives. God tells us to just ask and He will give the nations to us. We are asking and believing for Cyprus, declaring to this people, “You belong to the Lord!“

Streams in the Desert - Extravagant Worship from GBI on Vimeo.

Mini Flight School

It was Monday morning and I was on Mini Flight School (MFS) duty. MFS is the children's equipping ministry of the Gateways community. I enjoy this time with the kids, but wasn't prepared for the deep revelation I would receive that morning. The lesson was about creation and I was talking to the kids on a very elementary level about how God made night so that we can sleep and light so that we can see to work and play. And then three year old Trace interjected with "And God made light so that we can have new days!" I was taken aback by his comment and the revelation that it held. How good of the Father! As a sign of His renewed mercies, He chose to make new days. He didn't have to make beautiful sunrises that illuminate horizons, but He knew that the human heart needs fresh starts and new beginnings. He knew that we would sin and feel the weight of it, so He chose to give us a picture to help us understand His washing us clean. The cycle of sin, repentance, forgiveness and sanctification is shown in night and the light of a new day. What if He had made just one, long, never ending day where all the good and the bad just piled on top of each other. No rest, no fresh start. He knows us too well to create such a world.

Every time I think I know how good He is, He is better still. And He choses to reveal His goodness to me through theologians and three year olds.

Bright Star vs. The Young Victoria

I recently watched the two movies Bright Star and The Young Victoria. These movies seem to have so much in common - both are period dramas based on true stories, taking place in England in the first half of the 19th century. The lead female characters are both eighteen and the male leads are in their mid twenties. Both films are rated PG are are free of explicit content. And yet with all their similarities, they are strikingly different.

My conscience did not allow me to love Bright Star. The film, which revolves around poet John Keats and his romantic attachment to Fanny Brawne, is made quite well and maintains historical accuracy, but my issue with it lies with Miss Brawne's character. Throughout the story, she proves herself to be immature, selfish and melodramatic. She continually pursues John Keats, handicapping his lead. He realizes that he can not afford to marry and attempts to safeguard Fanny's heart, but what she wants, she gets. It seemed as though the majority of her character was counter Kingdom and I could not endear myself to her.

Then we watched The Young Victoria. This film takes a deeper look into the time just before Queen Victoria's coronation at the age of eighteen through her marriage to and young married life with Prince Albert. Although Victoria's character is far from perfect, she displays the feminine grace and heart that is worthy of emulation. She allows Prince Albert to pursue her and conducts herself with guarded beauty. Their love story is founded on healthy femininity and masculinity, each fulfilling their proper role, allowing the other to thrive. These characters have quickly stolen my heart and this film has become one of my all time favorites.

What's the difference? What's the big deal? I have come to a place of frustration with the films that my generation in the church have fallen in love with. I'm not even talking about inappropriate content, although that is important. Both of these films were quite clean and bore the PG rating, but they conveyed such different messages. Selfishness vs. giveness - immaturity vs. responsibility - infatuation vs. ardent love. So many of the movies that young women claim are their favorite movies are the ones which glorify selfishness, rebellion, impurity, and deception. Don't even get me started on The Notebook! Shouldn't we be glorifying the love stories that line up with the Kingdom we profess to belong to. If we continue to be so enamored with the world's version of love, how can we expect to ever have something better? I believe more and more everyday that if we continue to indoctrinate ourselves with the cheap version of love all around us, it will surely be our fate.

Streams in the Desert

One of my responsibilities with Gateways this year is organizing the Streams in the Desert events we host on the island. Two of our senior leaders are in charge of this ministry and I am their right hand girl. My job consists of reserving venues for future events, correspondence with believers and pastors on the island, publicity for events, managing the event blog, as well as all the details that go into putting on an event, as a ministry, for 200+ people. It's a lot of work, but I really love it and get to use the administrative gifting God's put in me. I love getting to know the Body of Messiah on this island and building relationships with them. I've started getting encouraging emails from them and am now identified as the "Streams girl" at island wide events. They're so sweet. Streams in the Desert events are about coming together and giving worship it’s rightful place once again, for Jesus never ceases to be worthy. Our aim is to unite the Body of Christ in Cyprus to take part in worship and intercession that changes the spiritual atmosphere. We had an amazing time at the Ajax Hotel on February 21st as believers from all over the island untied in something bigger than themselves. Power was released as a group of people, with the Spirit of the living God inside of them, cried out for a nation and a generation. We connected with the very heart of the Father, as He came near and lavished His affections on His Bride in Cyprus. Through that place of intimacy, there was birthed a strength to war in the spirit for God’s purposes in this country and region as a whole. It’s for Cyprus. It’s for the world.

Prayer Ministry

My bestie, Tab, running the projector

Me manning the info table & Matti and Remi ready to pray for people!

The Perks of Community

One of the greatest joys of this year and a beloved perk of living a community lifestyle is seeing the work of God in my classmates (pictured). We have walked together for the last 3 years and to see them stepping into their destinies on new levels is a treasure to me. We are growing in unity and relationship with one another through serving and learning together. When one of them receives a break through, my eyes fill with tears of joy just as their own do. I can not help but believe that this is the way the Father intended the church to operate. Believers walking side by side, holding each other up in difficult times, and dancing with them in the joyous ones. So often we only see people once a week at church where we drop the "Christian f-word" to each other,

"How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm fine."

We fake our way through it all week after week. But in community, there's no faking it. If you're not walking in the truth of God's Word, there's at least a dozen people who will notice and love you enough to call you out on it. I was called out on something last week. It was painful and my flesh would have preferred my friend stay silent, but they knew that I needed to get it right. The moment I repented I could literally feel the difference. My stoney heart softened and the presence of God came rushing in like a flood. Perhaps it's time to stop being afraid of offending people and start speaking into their lives out of love. Let us set aside Christian camaraderie and start practicing Biblical accountability. Because although it may be uncomfortable having others close enough to see the bad, it is life to the soul to also have them cheering you on in the good.

Grace Everywhere

The Toyota Rav4. It's a cute, little, inconspicuous SUV. I had never really noticed them, that is until we got one. All of a sudden they were everywhere! On the highway, in the parking lot, up the street. Where did all these Rav 4s come from? Why had I never noticed them before?

Isn't it funny how that happens? In a day we can go from being oblivious of something, to being completely mesmerized by it. Saturday night we were exhorted that it's the same way with grace. Often times I take God's grace for granted in my life. It's sad to say, but true. It is the treasured gift of Heaven and I can go too long without identifying it in my life and giving thanks for it. But when I stop and take the time to see Yeshua's rich grace that He's lavished on my life, I start seeing it everywhere! I can't stop seeing His goodness. It's an unending cycle that I love falling into! But it all starts with pausing from the craziness of life and choosing to look on His goodness with a grateful heart.

Home Sweet Cyprus

I thought you all might like to see a little bit of where my life

happens here in Cyprus. I love it so much and definitely feel "home" here.

This is our new base! It was previously a restaurant and we still get Cypriot visitors every now and then wanting a table, but all in all, we love it! We are much more in the open than ever before, but feel that this is God's will for us in this season.

This is the intersection that our base sits on. To the left leads to our base and to the right is our offices. This intersection is the crossroads to the 4 main villages in our area.

This is the road that I make my 15 minute walk on to the base everyday...

This is my house! For the past two years, I have lived in the townhouse on the left, but this year, the middle one is our abode. The room I share with my Scottish friend, Gwen, is the second floor balcony, behind the tree. I live there along with the other 5 intern girls pictured below:)

Valentines Day

Valentines Day - a holiday that many might assume to be discouraged at a discipleship school with a strict commitment to pure consecrated living during these six set apart months, was celebrated with the most brotherly of affection this year. The intern ladies enjoyed a roof-top Valentines Day celebration from the one and only male intern, Tony. This annual gesture of phileo love was much appreciated by hearts and taste buds alike! Can I just say that I love being able to celebrate and have fun without all the drama of relationships and romantic attachment?! It was so fun to laugh and share in phileo love for one another. Enjoy the photos!

I like to believe that this says "Happy Valentine's Day!" in Greek:)

Our entertainment was a video of our Gigue (talent show) from 2008 - so funny!

You're good. The end.

I tend to over-analyze just about everything. This is something that I am getting much better at, especially in the practice of worship. Sometimes I get so caught up in meanings of the exact words I’m singing that I lose focus of Who I’m singing them to.

Then, a few days ago in morning worship, the Holy Spirit gave me a spontaneous song that made me laugh out loud. The words flowed out of me.

I’m not going to use my mind - to over think this.

I won’t analyze - for this is Spirit to spirit.

You’re good.

That’s it. He’s good. The end. No analyzing His goodness - no trying to understand the impossible greatness of it. Just simple belief and praise. Thank you Lord Jesus that You are beyond what I can understand and are teaching me to accept that fact.

Sisters of the Common Life

Last week in our VVC (Vision, Values, & Convictions) class, we were challenged to look at rules of life. These are often monastic rules, orders, and resolutions. We were encouraged to seek inspiration from those who have gone before as we began forming and drafting our own rules of life that we want to be held accountable for. I was immediately drawn to my hero, Amy Carmichael. She formed an order of young women in India that gave up everything to champion the Gospel. These valiant young women were called the Sisters of the Common Life. May you be as challenged by their commitments as I was and inspired to write your own.

My Vow.

Whatsoever Thou sayest unto me, by Thy grace I will do it.

My Constraint.

Thy love, O Christ, my Lord.

My Confidence.

Thou art able to keep that which I have committed unto Thee.

My Joy.

To do Thy will, O God.

My Discipline.

That which I would not choose, but which Thy love appoints.

My Prayer.

Conform my will to Thine.

My Motto.

Love to live, live to love.

My Portion.

The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance.

Teach us, good Lord, to serve Thee as Thou deservedst, to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and not to ask for any reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will, O Lord our God.

The Ever Fixed Mark

Have you ever witnessed a couple who shared a mature love for each other? I'm not speaking of a weak and indecisive attachment, but a love that has been tenderly chosen at the beginning of everyday. A love that has become sweeter and more valuable with time, like a rich bottle of aged wine. It is not a flimsy love that you are likely to fall out of as fast as you fell into it, but a consistent devotion. Or as Shakespeare put it, "an ever fixed mark." Those who participate in such a love develop a transparency that bonds them together as one being. They are not the couple whose co-dependant infatuation not only makes you feel uncomfortable and isolated, but annoying nauseated as well. No, they are the couple that you admire, that you want to emulate. There is something holy in their love, in the way they've given themselves to one another in complete selflessness. The sincerity of their love makes their pet names of affection and habit of finishing each other's sentences beautiful, rather than annoying. It is a testimony to the years they have spent together on their journey to oneness.

I want this enduring love to summarize my relationship with Yeshua. That I would know Him as intimately as He knows me. Oh that I would be acquainted with His heart! That I would come to Him in vulnerable transparency, resting under his wings of love and riding on His waves of grace. I do not want a spiritual experience, quick to come and soon to fade. No, I want the testimony of a consistent life of love. I want the daily encounter with God's face that not only changes me for today, but for eternity. Not a quick fix or fast high, but the character that comes through the cycle of repentance and redemption, rooted and grounded in love. His dreams would become my own and His heartbeat my life's cadence. And through day after day of intentional and devoted affection, I would come to the place that I am finishing God's sentences.

Tears, Truth and E-mails

I like doing a good job. Things like perfect records and 4.0's are important to me. When viewing this part of me from the perspective of doing things with a spirit of excellence, this is a great thing. But when it stems from the perfectionist side of me - with its striving and insecurities - it's deadly.

I've been given many responsibilities since starting my internship with Gateways Beyond. I love the work, despite the fact that I can't remember my brain being this tired since final exams in college. Friday was the climax of my first week. My assignment? Send two emails promoting a worship event we're having on the island and complete some research projects. Sounds simple, even elementary... or so I thought. To make a 4 and a half hour saga short enough for this blog, the task proved more difficult than I had originally anticipated. Due to new programs, computer freezes, formatting errors and internet failures, it took me four and a half hours to send those two emails. And in my mind, the worst part of it all was having to ask for help. I loathed having to make one phone call after the other to leaders and supervisors at home with their families because I could not find the answers to my technical problems on my own. After about 4 hours, I was exhausted. Although I had not done much physical activity apart from running from my desk to the phone, I felt like my mind had run a marathon and I was no closer to getting out of this predicament. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed non-existent. These two emails were time sensitive and needed to go out that night. While my room mates were at home get dressed and beautified for that night's shabbat dinner, I was sitting the office, in my jeans - unshowered and disheartened. I wanted to be the girl that always has it together. That the leaders would say, "Oh we know Chelsea can do it - we trust her." I wanted to report back that I had finished every task I'd been given and then some. I wanted to do everything perfectly. And here I was, glaring at my computer screen - my brain bursting with frustration and my eyes welling up with tears.

And then there was that still small voice, "Chelsea, your worth is not found in your work. It's not about how good of a job you do. Your worth is found in My love." How had I missed it? How had I been so foolish? How had I forgotten love? I had allowed stress to not only enter in, but completely take control - to the point that I was CRYING about two emails! I stopped, took a deep breath, repented and allowed the love of the Father to wash over me. I listened as He spoke truth to my soul. I am good enough without my work because I have Him. My leadership loves me - not for the job I do - but for who I am in Christ. I have a measure of grace each day to accomplish my tasks, I need only to rest in that truth and rely on Jesus in every part of my day. At that point, something shifted in the room. Despair and insecurity no longer resided - hope and confidence in Christ had moved in. Within 30 minutes, I had finished my work and was on my way to shabbat dinner. My room mates graciously brought me some dress clothes and I made a quick change in the bathroom, which made me feel a bit like Superman, minus the super part. I sat down at the table just in time to see the them light the candles - signifying the beginning of shabbat. I was able to exhale. Peace... and more tears, only this time they came from a different place - not from discouragement, but from a knowledge that I am found in the love of God. He provides for me in every situation, from finances to healing - salvation to emails.

Stewarding Your Sphere

This morning in our staff meeting we were exhorted to be good stewards of our sphere. We all have the ability to chose the state of the atmosphere that we carry with us. We can choose to make it a sphere of life, or one of death - and when people come into contact with us, they are affected by our choice. Do you know those people that after you've spent time with them, you just feel better? They carry life, joy and peace in the Holy Spirit. It's like you not only spent time with them, but with the jesus in them. And I'm sure that you also know those people who leave you feeling just as depressed and pessimistic as they are. As staff and interns in the Gateways ministry, we want to carry life in our atmospheres that will overflow into the lives of the students here, but this is not applicable in our context alone. What if your boss, spouse, teacher or checker at the grocery store had an encounter with the loving life of Jesus, simply by coming into contact with the atmosphere that you have fostered through worship and prayer? What if we started taking the Bible seriously and God at His Word? What if the world really was transformed by the unchanging love of a Beatitude styled life? What if all of our "what if's" started today?

Jesus Christ is Coming to Town!

It's been over a month now since the close of the Christmas season and I still can't get something out of my mind. I was at work one day in December, in the middle of a sit with a child less than thrilled about having his picture taken (I work as a photographer in a studio), and instead of disciplining her child for his unruly behavior, his exasperated mother informed her child, "You need to obey me right now because Santa Clause is watching! If you're not good, he won't bring you any presents this year!" The little boy immediately straightened up for his picture and even gave me a half smile through the tears leftover from his tantrum. I was amazed and a little disgusted. I was struck with how much power the idea of Santa had over this kid. I was reminded of a conversation I had with someone a few weeks earlier when we heard the song "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" on the radio. My friend commented that the tune made Santa sound like divinity, and this little incident at work proved their observation frighteningly true. But think about how wonderfully different it would have been if that mother had said something like, "Jesus loves you more than you can imagine and He is coming back soon because He wants to be with you so badly. He has given you a mommy and daddy, a house, and food to eat because He loves you so much and the way we show Him that we love Him back is by obeying Him. But remember that we do not obey to make Jesus love us, we obey because He loves us." What a difference?! The former was all about instilling the fear of disobedience and the latter instills the hope of Jesus.

What if the second coming was our motivation? The fact of the matter is that Jesus said that He is coming SOON (Revelation 22) and if we live in any way that is contrary to believing that He is coming soon, we are not being obedient to scripture. Let us not get wrapped up in the anticipation of the world. We are waiting for something far better that Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. People, Jesus Christ is coming to town! Let's get excited about it, for He does not want to come for a Bride that is indifferent about His coming.

Santa Clause's got nothing on my Jesus.